This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
