omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
