Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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