so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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