sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
