I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
