i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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