After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
