Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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