But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
