No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
