His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
