Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
