I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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