I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
