Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
