I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
