Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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