"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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