I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
