home. puking in laundry basket.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
