i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
