im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
