So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
