Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
