its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
