Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
