Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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