Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
