He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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