I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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