We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I didn't notice because vodka
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
