end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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