After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
