Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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