turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
