they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
