Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
being pregnant is like rehab
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
