I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
