My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
