The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
