Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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