Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
