Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
