'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
