can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
