i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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