i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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