I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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