I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
