I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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