So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
