I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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